The Wall

It hit it hard and fast last week.

In fact, I hit it so hard and fast that I didn't even know what I had hit.

I wondered aloud to mama if I was depressed. Maybe experiencing some baby blues.

I had no desire to put on "real" clothes. Was satisfied just being in my workout clothes that hadn't been "worked out" in since before the baby. Even the thought of managing to get dressed with completed hair and make up was stressful and unimaginable. I cancelled appointments to attend meetings and see friends because A). I didn't want to get dressed and B). It just wasn't worth the effort. The bed didn't get made; the pile of non-maternity clothes lay on our floor (I wasn't wearing them anyway....see point "A" above); thank you notes didn't get written; the house didn't get cleaned.

Mama laughed. "You're not depressed. You're Exhausted!"

Oh. Well. That explains it.

I remember hitting The Wall about two weeks after the birth of Andrew. For the first two weeks, I was able to run on adrenaline. The excitement of a baby and the newness of the addition to our family kept me going on little sleep. And then I hit The Wall. It was brutal.

With Ben, when the two week mark came and went without fazing me, I began to think that maybe I was SuperWoman. Or SuperMom, at least. I scheduled meetings for my volunteer work; I volunteered for more volunteer work; I ran errands; I met for playdates; I took showers; I got dressed; I facebooked; I blogged!!

And then I hit it.

The Wall.

And honestly? I don't think there is enough caffeine in the world or enough thoughts like"this gross lack of sleep is only a brief stage in my life" to help me get over, through, or around The Wall.

Because the only place I want to be is

At the foot of The Wall

Asleep.